March Insights: Separation

From the time we are born into life, we are taught how to be separate, and how to segregate, how to judge and ultimately our ego’s are created. We then come to the time when we might consider growing from our inner aspect, and the hard work of undoing the lifetime of separateness in order to live in oneness, purity of mind and unconditional love is a never ending task.

I guess I was lucky enough to have a “both ends of the scale” life experience; very young parents who were growing as I grew. One parent is openly spiritual, the other completely closed to it. Maybe you’re wondering how this is helpful? Well I see it as how not to be in some ways, which is a viewing style of learning, but as well I learned about self control, emotional maturity, responsibility and forgiveness at a very young age.

So then we come to our own adult relationships, our learned expectations from childhood make an appearance, never mind if this partner has been raised differently, you know what you know and that's how it is! Of course this doesn't work very well if you can’t find compromise. My adult relationships were where I learned to not judge, especially on first appearances. I learned about my own reflection of behaviour, I also learned that if you are not learning together you need to move on, as it's not about everyone putting themselves through more trauma, and we also have to be kind to ourselves!

Becoming a parent, now here is where all the previous learning and more comes into play. You learn that maybe you might have been a bugger of a kid at times, as you are reminded by your own children, who are just being children, but now you know how it feels as the frustrated parent! But wow the love you feel from that very first moment with your baby in your arms, there it is, unconditional love! But wait, there's more, so much more. We learn about the feelings and fear of loss, we learn about defending our children when others are mean, and then we learn how important it is to find balance, as maybe our children were just as involved in the meanness themselves, and the cycle has started again and goes on!

Throughout life we are going to experience our human nature in order to find our way back to our hearts. We will learn to tame our ego, as we can choose this if we want to. We can thank our ego for all those lessons at the same time. Many people ask how can you accept tragedy, losing people? Well there are lessons around this too, we just need to look for it. This often comes after the emotional wave settles, as we look for answers. Well it is the better choice than becoming bitter about it and staying put with no growth, no love within, and viewing life through a sour lens.

To become whole we need to experience all things, good, bad, and challenging. Accept with grace how we have come to the position we are in, as it is only a story in life which has had great purpose, and that is to help us grow towards oneness and away from separation.

Much love, April 💛